Friday, December 28, 2007
1. I am hypoglycemic. If my blood sugar drops so do I. It can get ugly - most of you who know me know I need to constantly have some sort of caloric intake at all times especially when I work out. Only the select few have seen my at my worst - it's not pretty.
2. I am addicted to exercise. I need the endorphin rush. It can come in the form of a run, bike, hike, swim, kayak, ski, play w/ doggies, climb - whatever. I need it! If I don't get out and do it on a regular basis I slip into a catatonic mental state which is almost as unattractive as hypoglycemic shock. This is the reason for me not having knee surgery yet. The thought of not being able to get my endorphin rush on a regular basis scares the crap out of me.
3. I danced ballet for 10 years. That's right the Ice Princess was a ballerina - if any of you ever make fun of me for it I will kick your posterior! If it weren't for that I would be the biggest klutz in the world. It was fun and it gave me what little flexibility, grace and balance I have to this day.
4. I really enjoy being alone. As social as I am and as much as I love my friends/fam/people around me - I equally love my solitude. My favourite times are hikes deep in the woods with Sergei (the only "person" I love to have around me even when I want to be alone).
5. I have an irrational fear of rats. Yes rats....just typing it in gives me the creeps. I once locked myself in my work truck and wouldn't make a delivery because a rat was outside of my truck. I even called my dispatchers - who got a great laugh out of it. I freaked out to the point where I thought the rat would try and open the door to the truck then subsequently try to climb in through the vents when it discovered the doors were locked. Yes, it's that bad.
So there it is in writing - I suppose I feel cleansed by putting it out there. Do with it what you will, but remember...don't make fun of the Ice Princess Ballerina!!!
Thursday, December 27, 2007
The five days flew by so fast, my head was spinning and still is with all the activity. There was so much to absorb and process. At the end of each day I thought for certain I would collapse with exhaustion but instead my head kept going (and going) and as a result my sleep cycle suffered - so yesterday on my drive back, the fight to remain awake was only successfully achieved by the continuation of my mind running at an unimaginable speed. The past five days spinning and spinning. It was a good five hour period filled with reflective thoughts, defragmentation of my brain and lots of NPR. Only to get home to my crazy, cabin-fever filled animals...time to run. I don't know where I mustered up the energy but Sonia and I went on a great run (Sergei, poor guy, is getting to old for ass-kicking runs :( More time to think as we were gone for an hour - my knee woke me last night from the pain - good times. Then it was off to Buffalo for a hockey game and more family/friend time. I am exhausted mentally and physically. Emotionally I feel incredible - I just wish I could show it - but my body just hurts. Let me sleep and I will be back to my hyper-ridiculous self by New Year's Eve - promise!
Friday, December 21, 2007
Thursday, December 20, 2007
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
It has been snowing here for several days straight. For me it is heaven - at least heaven the way I would imagine it to be. To me there is nothing more beautiful than the world encased in the perfect brilliance of a snowfall. Running through the park the other day was affirmation of that belief. Not another soul was in this 900 acre oasis that day. In a way being alone in the park was amazing, but somehow in another way it kind of saddened me. Why are more people not loving this? Oh yeah it's because I live in Rottenchester. Hmmmm.
So the problem with this city (there are many - bear with me as I am about to focus only on one) is that most of the people here don't enjoy the climate. There's a loaded statement - the climate here pretty much sucks most of the year. It's too hot in the summer (that's why God invented kayaks and the Lake!), it's too cold and rainy in the spring and fall (best inventions ever = Goretex and Wellies), and it's way too cold and snows too much in the winter (OMG that's why we ski, snowshoe, run in the snow, have sheep shearling....AAARRRGGGGG).
So as I was shoveling my driveway - for the 5th time in two days - not that I need it shoveled as my bad ass Subaru can go pretty much into ~4' of snow (after 4' I def need to shovel) - those were the thoughts running through my head. Yes I will agree that Rochester is a far cry from a perfect city. I always said that if there was a 12,000 ft. mountain set right next to Lake Ontario I would never even consider leaving - but there isn't so I do. I just get so annoyed when people bitch about the snow and the cold and the rain and the....Fucking MOVE! Don't heat up my chill! For now I am stuck in this purgatory and all you guys are stuck in it with me...so make the best of it and stop wrecking my temporary glimpses of heaven!
Thursday, December 13, 2007
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
Friday, December 7, 2007
Thursday, December 6, 2007
Tuesday, December 4, 2007
With my job it is expected that we keep everything in order - in detailed, well documented and engineered order. I, on the other hand, am the equivalent of the absent- minded professor. (Well, to say I am of the intellect of a professor would be drastically over inflated). Anyway, I am a tornado when I work. My papers are scattered randomly across my entire workspace, spilling onto the floor and into adjacent cubicles. I work on multiple projects simultaneously only because I have to. I can not focus on only one task at a time – it is a futile attempt and nothing gets accomplished. I am a mess – or so it seems to the untrained eye. When in fact in this mayhem of documentation and flurry of pencils I find myself contently completing one mundane task at a time.
Back to the over analysation. So why is it that some people are in fact over-analysers while others just seem to drift along in their blissful acceptance of the way the world works? I can not comprehend the latter. While I am for the most part very optimistic, I tend to question everything and wonder why it is the way it is. Not because it’s just supposed to be. There must be a reason, a driving force, a theory, an alternate push to the pull…why sometimes it all works in symbiotic unison while other times it is in complete disarray? When I ask about it "all" or "it" I suppose I mean all of it, the world, life, everything. Ok, so this train of thought is quite possibly the direct result of not enough sleep, too much caffeine and an overwhelming workload. I just needed a 10-minute break from my day to ensure sanity. To all that are going to read this and wonder what drug I’m on…don’t wonder, most of you who do know me already know, I don’t require drugs for these things :)
Thursday, November 29, 2007
Monday, November 26, 2007
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Friday, November 16, 2007
Thursday, November 15, 2007
So with those thoughts I either find myself in denial or comforted. I would like to go with the latter, just for sanity's sake. As well as the sake of my state of mind being much more, shall we say, resilient today. As for tomorrow, I guarantee it will be even better!
Monday, November 12, 2007
Not wanting to sit and watch football in my brother's apartment on a Saturday night, I begrudgingly took myself out to a local bar. Grabbing the last available bar stool with TV access, I ordered a beer and began watching the Flyers/Penguins game. After a few minutes the man to my left initiated conversation - at first I was a bit stand-offish. I am usually forwardly curt with anyone who tries to talk to me at bars. I am known as the Ice Princess back home for just that reason...however, either I was being nice because I was not in my comfort zone or I just didn't feel threatened - his efforts were reciprocated. Next thing we were playing pool, chatting and laughing like old friends. I realize that alcohol is an uninhibiting device for some...and perhaps that was one of the factors of our comfortable interaction that night...perhaps.
The next day he phoned to have lunch - alright - I love to eat, he was very nice and seemed to be a perfect gentleman, why not? He shows up at my brother's place with two bikes - a beautiful Cannondale road bike and an Alan track bike - YIKES! A man who is cool and knows bikes...dangerous combination for me - if he was a downhill skier I might have to propose - that's all right, no one's perfect. Anyway, so we ride throughout the city to the lunch spot. Have a great time - he's even more attractive today. How does that happen? I thought beer goggles don't work the next day? Regardless, it was an amazing time with an amazing random encounter. I don't know if I will ever see him again. I hope to...but only time will tell. If I don't I can still think about riding through the city with a cool guy, on a killer bike and smile till my face hurts :)
Monday, November 5, 2007
Friday, November 2, 2007
When I got home Wednesday from climbing, I was all set to go in, shower up and check out for the night. The dogs had a great time at the rock gym as did I. My first day of detox felt great. Then I hear over the fence "Ari? Ari, grab a chair c'mon over. Do you want a beer?". My neighbors were having a small gathering over a fire pit...the battle began in my head. Do I want a beer? Hmmm, of course. "Ari, you are detoxing" angelic Ari said to my embattled brain. "But you only live once...and it is a nice night for a good beer by the fire" the little devil Ari said perched on my left shoulder. If you know me, then you know who almost always wins this battle. I think I threw the little angel Ari into the neighbors fire pit...and cracked open a most delicious Indian Pale Ale. Sometimes being weak has its delicious and thirst quenching high points.
Ok so I am not at a point where I want to give up alcohol. Do I really need to? I will just continue my eating a healthy diet and excercise - that's kept me going so far. After all I did get my trainer set up so I can jump on my road bike whenever I can't ride outside. . . I am not worried. Besides when I move to SLC Jennie will kick my ass if I am not in shape enough to keep up with her. If any of you know Jennie, that's motivation enough! Yikes!
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Friday, October 26, 2007
Thursday, October 25, 2007
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Having broken up with the giver of Sock sometime ago, I have since donated, burned or given away all he had ever given to me. It was my way of starting over, coping or whatever you may call it (female drama?). The one thing I could not get rid of was Sock. He became so much more than a gift. He became a partner in crime, an integral part of my travels, and an anticipated familiar red smile among our photos. Deciding that I needed to let him go (sob) to finally be completely over the past was a most difficult decision. I scoured my mind and quietly studied my friends to decide who would have the honor of being Sock's new travel partner. So it only seemed natural when one average day I was reading my friend Lynn's blog from El Salvador, then the next from Guatemala, then the next from Montreal or wherever she had ended up...she just had to be the next owner of Sock!
So this past weekend I met with Lynn in Vermont. Not letting her know exactly what was going to happen, I discretely placed Sock on her bed in the hotel prior to her arrival (sob). When she did finally show up he greeted her with a most welcome and very familiar red smile that we have all grown so found of. She didn't even ask but just knew why he was on her bed. The rest of the weekend he spent in her care, driving in her car, photos in her house...
It is still hard for me, but I know he is in good hands and he will see far more of the world with Lynn. I only asked that I keep getting photographic evidence of his amazing endeavours and that he join us on our adventures, as well. God speed, Sock!
Having an unusual warm and sunny day in late October is reason for celebratation in this town...so that's what I did. By leaving work 3 hours early and enjoying every bit of the amazing day that was left. I know work will be here today, tomorrow and the following days to come as I also know that it will rain (and snow) for more days than I can handle (for the next several months). Therefore an executive decision had to made. Work a full day and waste the weather or skip out and pay for it later. I am currently paying on that debt but with a great sense of fulfillment and an ear to ear grin :)
Monday, October 22, 2007
Sunday, October 21, 2007
The fact that I don't have any real means to good tunes doesn't help matters. Why is it that in the rural parts of our country the only stations available to us are either "bad" country or bible thumping? I say "bad" country because there is such a thing as good country. For instance Rascal Flatts is bad country. George Strait is good country. You get the picture? Probably not but that's irrelevant.
So then my other choice were the stations that felt they needed to save my sinful soul. NO thanks. I know I am a far cry from a saint, but I do try to live a good, clean life (ok, so I like to drink, however, monks make beer & Jesus turned water into wine...I rest my case - of 2003 Modavi Reserve Cabernet). So to try and stomach the blasphemous spew that's crying out for me to take Jesus into my heart, blah, blah from a man who most likely has at least one if not several mistresses is intolerable! Ok, so then I turn to the a.m. dial on my 1998 standard Subaru radio...and I do find salvation. This auditory ray of sunlight through the clouds of the f.m. convolution comes in the form of NPR. Ah yes, the only thing I have to keep me from barrelling into on-coming traffic or veer my 16" wheels (hell yeah - El Fuego is pimped w/ his racing tires!) off the shoulder then subsequently off a cliff. This however is impossible due to the fact that NYS Thruway is as flat as the road killed possum I passed by mile marker 179. So to drive off the shoulder would only result in my car engaging it's all wheel drive and keep going through some poor farmer's field destroying either his soybean crop or scaring the shit out of his cattle. We don't like hurting the hard working people in the world.
They say it is not the destination but the journey - in my case destination was the only thing I had going for me...
The leaves in Vermont were amazingly beautiful and the couple of days in Cape Vincent were incredibly relaxing - the journey did provide a well deserved interlude amongst the chaos of the road. And now I am home and grounded - for a few days at least, when the memory of driving fades and the desire of getting the hell out here takes over again!
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
I must also interject here that this blogging thing was no idea of mine...oh no. As a human being we are susceptible to peer pressures and influences, both positive and negative, from those we hold closest to us. Brutus fell to the (negative) pressures of those who wanted a leader removed - so he killed his best friend due to those pressures. When in Rome.....
Here I am blogging because my roommate has started doing it on his myspace page, then one of my closest friends started her own blog site(thanks Jennie) - next thing I knew everyone was doing it! I must say, I have never been one to fall into the pressures of my peers - nor have I been known to follow the lemmings to the cliff - unless I am harnessed and tied off, of course. But here I am running with wild abandon staring at the furry little asses in front of me, not knowing where we will end up or even why we are running. All I know is they're all doing it, so it must be great....