Monday, April 28, 2008
Running on Empty
Today is a non-motivational day. There could be several potential factors for this lack of zeal towards my duties today. It could be the grey, dreary weather that we awoke to this morning. The temperature has dropped into the 40's from being well into the 70's the majority of this past week. It could have something to do with the fact that I over indulged yesterday in both food and drink. Or perhaps it could have something to do with the fact that I have not slept properly over the entire weekend. Whatever the reason I simply have no desire to be productive today. Such a disconcerting feeling to have. I think the more disconcerting feeling should be the fact that I really am quite apathetic to it all...but that does not seem to be on my list of worries.
Listening to Arman Van Buuren, just kind of zoning out to his electronic, bass-loaded melodies, I find myself content yet restless all at the same time. How does that happen? I am thinking that my body is completely complacent sitting in this cubicle reading the words across my computer monitor, however my mind is not absorbing one bit of the information which my eyes have just scanned over. This is causing a most itchy feeling in my brain. As if my neurons are firing at light speed but the processing center is shut down. The thoughts are flowing but without any particular result. How frustrating this makes me - I want to form a congruent thought or at the very least have a purpose or end result for one or perhaps two of these millions of thought processes. But to my growing frustration they just keep scattering leaving me feeling as if I am aimlessly chasing an abstract prey. One that will keep eluding me no matter how fast I run after it. The impending result will be me passing out later tonight - not due to my lack of sleep but due to sheer exhaustion as if I was physically running as fast as my mind was.