Trials,Tribulations, Travels, Tastings...and Occassional Transcendence

Trials,Tribulations, Travels, Tastings...and Occassional Transcendence
Sock on the Great Wall

Wednesday, April 9, 2008


This was part of an email from CB (a trusted and candid male friend of mine) as a response to one of my recent postings. Reading through, he is completely spot on (so sad but true). At least I can laugh about it, right? Thanks again for the male wisdom, CB!

(*some names/titles have been changed to protect the innocent and my job)

"I think the list of guys in your dating age break down into these categories:

Never married - probably shy guys, typical doormats. Most women would have snagged them up if they half decent. They don't know how to talk to a women, so come off sounding awkward or even the guy at the [company] Xmas dinner from [a local industrial firm] who wanted a piece of your action! You sure would have made his Christmas! ...and New Years! And maybe even shown up on Youtube somewhere!

The Players - (Trans AMs and naked lady mudflaps!), just out looking to wet their wick, hump them and dump them. I think there is a few good grapes in the bunch, but the pickings are getting slim. I never understood the attraction women had to these 'badboys'. Maybe they think they can save them/change them. Most badboys will have to mellow out and settle down for any long term relationships - even then you'll have to learn to endure the trail of tears from women coming up and slapping him in front of everyone (and your children) in Wegmans. YOU - "What was that about?" HIM "oh...I don't even know who she is..." yeah right. (psst...get him tested for social diseases before you commit!)

Married - The forbidden fruit. They have already been screened by women and accepted into women's life - so you feel comfortable that they do meet the minimum requirements. As long as they are not abusers, dopers, or 'all I want to do is watch TV' sportsfans they are a safe bet. Hey, its worked for Joey Buttafuoco and Amy Fisher! Heck, married and single guys even look in this group! You have heard of MILFs right? Of course...then there are the married guys who cruise the school yards, or do the house keeper/nanny/foreign exchange students too...which brings us to:

Married and divorced - Again, already screened by women so they *MAY* meet the minimum requirements. Hmm...but why the divorce? Well, I figure 50% of divorces stem from crazy b*tches that drove their man nuts. The other 50% of divorces are from pr*ck husbands who are abusive, drinkers, lazy, or just as wacko as their crazy @ss b*tches. Or someone cheated. In any case - damaged goods to someone, but maybe a deal in there someplace. Make sure you look it over good...kick the tires a bit. Maybe take him to your trusted mechanics. These folks should come with a disclaimer from the previous owner, since the new owners will have to re-live the same horrors that befell the previous owner. Don't get lured into the basement early in the relationship...can you say 'wood chipper'?"


flahute said...

Oh joy ... now I have to think about getting a testimonial from my ex-wife?

Julie said...

Too funny, and true. What about the typical "nice" guys? Where do they fall into guy logic. You may need to write a book, CB.