Pool, Beer and Personal Philosophies

Saturday I woke up later than I wanted to which prevented me from doing a couple of things before having to go to work. Yes, I had to work...travesty, I know. Regardless, the market and pilates class were a wash because of my inability to wake up when my alarm went off. So the dogs and I went to my job site - with great dissapointment. Due to the 2" layer of ice on all of my equipment, there wasn't a whole lot I could do. So the doggies and I went for a walk around the facility then to visit Mom. Which was long over due since I haven't been to see her new place pretty much since I helped her move in, almost a year ago (bad daughter).

During all of my daily adventures I decided I wanted to go out that night. It's been quite some time since I have gone to my regular bar and thought, since I had my tour de eats the night previous, I felt healthy enough to be bar-social. I phoned a few people and lined up an early meeting time. I prefer to go out earlier - it's like going to the diner for the early bird. You avoid the crowds, get better service, and still get home in time for Saturday Night Live (and a gallon of water to stave off an impending hangover).

The night started off great - I was first to arrive, as always, so I got to catch up with my favourite bar tender and watch a bit of the Detroit game. Shortly afterwards my Indian husband, Rohit, showed up. Ro and I always joke that if he can't get his greencard, I will marry him just so he can stay in the country. There have been a few crazy, drunken nights where it almost happended - good thing we don't live in Vegas. Anyway, we drink, talk and play pool. We are joined by a couple more friends. One of those is John. Now John is a proprieter in the City and one of the smartest, most well read men I know. I used to work in the building behind his shop and would go visit him almost daily just to get my fill of intellectually stimulating conversation. How the night went from talking politics, futbol and cricket to my lack luster dating life is beyond me, but with those two (with additional input from the pool-playing-peanut-gallery) it's never a dull conversation.

The consensus was that I am a controlling, man-minded, strong-willed woman. Controlling? I have been called many things in my time but controlling? The fact that I am strong-willed is completely true, but why is that so bad? Is it? And man-minded. They say I think like a man in my relationships, that's ok, right? I think so. But the controlling part, I didn't get. So I had to ask for elaboration (God help me). They informed me that because I am a strong woman, they observed that I like to have things my way. How little do these people, that have known me for years, know of me. It's not that I like to have things my way...it's that I expect ALOT of the people in my life as I expect ALOT of myself. Why is that construed as controlling? I think if I were controlling, I would still be in some dysfunctional relationship with some poor schlep that I have turned into my drone. But instead, I break up with said schlep and focus on myself. My Dad, in a conversation we had a few days afterwards, told me "Honey, you are alot of woman for any one man to take". I think he meant it as a complement, but I don't know now after referencing the conversations over beer and pool on Saturday. Whatever. I have not lost one nights sleep over it and think I am awesome the way I am (arrogant? never!). I know my friends have my best interest at heart and I absolutely love the fact that they are so candid with me. I wish everyone was so blunt.